The screaming hose-nose

Tapirs are neat for a number of reasons. This encounter (May 2007 at the Minnesota Zoo) leads me to propose that the Malayan tapir Tapirus indicus be given the revised common name "screaming hose-nose."

More interesting taphonomy

This articulated skeleton was awaiting burial in fluvial sediments.



Seen in June 2007 in the upper Wolf River, Langlade County, Wisconsin

The Florida Lawnmower Fire of '05

You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens? This is what happens when you flip your riding lawnmower.



Witnessed by yours truly on April 20, 2005 in Highlands County, Florida.

Crurotarsan taphonomy

ABSTRACT: Taphonomy is the study of the processes that occur as an organism decays and, in some cases, is fossilized. A novel process of taphonomy was observed in an extant crurotarsan in the cypress swamp of the southeastern lowlands of the United States. Described herein are the methods by which the carcass was disarticulated and scavenged by therapod fauna.

Nothing says "welcome to Florida" like a bunch of vultures feeding on a roadkilled alligator.

Verbing weirds language

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson - January 25, 1993

I've had enough of this. Even if dictionaries such as Merriam-Webster have conceded defeat, I stand my ground: "access" is not a verb. Neither is "leverage."

"Access" is a noun. It's a thing. "Do you have access to the bear pit?"

Soul-sucking: Let me access that file.
Better: Let me get/find/fetch/look up/obtain that file.

"Leverage," too, is a noun. The suffix -age is a good indication of this. Leverage is the the term for the mechanical advantage gained by using a lever, such as Archimedes proposed to apply to the earth if given a place to stand. The verb referring to the use of a lever to pry or otherwise apply a force is, perhaps confusingly, also "lever."

Soul-sucking: We should leverage this new technology in building our robot army.
Better: We should exploit/take advantage of/apply this new technology in building our robot army.

Before anyone calls me out on this, yes, I enjoy verbing words when speaking or writing informally - but I do this only when I know my audience will understand and find it amusing. This isn't about English snobbery - it's about speaking precisely and making oneself clearly understood.

Also, programmers take note: the opposite of "stateless" (as in "HTTP is a stateless protocol") is not "stateful." "Stateful" is a adjective describing, for example, an event replete with pomp: "The representative of the Crab People was greeted with a stateful reception." The opposite of "stateless" is persistent. That is, the state of the transaction persists between sessions.

Soul-sucking: HTTP is a stateless protocol. My proposed method is stateful.*
Better: HTTP is a stateless protocol. My proposed method is persistent.

* This, however, would be acceptable if your proposed method were full of pomp and vainglory.

More on the death of language to come.